So, not quite over, my LOA. Leave of Absence. Writing does take effort and energy and it is true that my effort and energy has been swallowed by other things… like the whale that swollowed Jonah. It has been far longer than 3 days and 3 nights, but I feel like I am finally coming out of the whale’s belly and into the light.
So much depends on how we see things. What we focus on. Last night I was sharing with a few ladies and heard myself lamenting over the lack of help and support I am getting with some things… and then after listening for a bit, my mind spun my problem 180 and instead of seeing the lack of help, I saw all those who were helping. Coming “out of the whale” means being able to see clearly and also knowing what to look at. Why am I looking at the shadows instead of the light? Sometimes I still feel the cool dampness of the being in that belly; it clings to me. It does not want to let go. I am weary. I am filled with inertia.
Inertia can be heavy, feel like a weight that stops you from doing what matters. What matters? Driving home yesterday in the car the kids were talking about what names they would choose for themselves if they could pick. Names like Toby, Kate, and Parker were tossed about. And then Maggie says, out of the blue, her clear voice like a wave that giggles as it rolls on, “Sam’s name can be Gezpacho!”
And we all laugh. I’ll follow that glow. I see the light.