Almost Home

    Almost Home (Mary Chapin Carpenter)

I saw my life this morning
Lying at the bottom of a drawer
All this stuff I’m saving
God knows what this junk is for
And whatever I believed in
This is all I have to show
What the hell were all reasons
For holding on for such dear life
Here’s where I let go
I’m not running
I’m not hiding
I’m not reaching
I’m just resting in the arms of the great wide open
Gonna pull my soul in
And I’m almost home
I saw you this morning
You were looking straight at me
From an ancient photograph
Stuck between letters and some keys
I was lost just for a moment
In the ache of old goodbyes
Sometimes all that we can know is
There’s no such thing as no regrets
Baby it’s all right
I’m not running
I’m not hiding…

Right now this song speaks to me.  I’ve played it so many times Maggie rolls her eyes when she hears it.  But it soothes my heart. I wonder, what am I holding onto?  Why do I cling to what I’ve always known and treasured instead of moving toward something else?  Maybe even something better.

Listen.  It is quiet.  It is still.  I am not running, hiding, reaching.  I am learning to hear what is in the silence, to embrace all the empty spaces and not rush to fill them.  I have regrets, I’ve said good-byes – too many – and it is all right.  I’m all right.  I’m letting go.  I’m almost home.

 

 

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5 thoughts on “Almost Home

  1. Thank u for sharing this moving song and your beautiful thoughts on it. They really hit home… Wait till your my age… You make peace with them…Or become bitter. No one wears bitterness well!

    1. Peace is better than bitterness, but not easier. Peace takes effort and reflection, while bitterness just moves in like the big green blobs of mucus in those commercials. Bitterness brings it’s luggage and is prepared to stay unless you make it leave and that takes work and self-awareness. Still trying…

  2. On second thought, please don’t wait till your my age!!! I’m so glad your working on it. I know the luggage, it’s heavy, it hurts, it’s frustrating and really not worth the carry. The contents inside are not worth it. They’re only purpose to slow you down, keep you back from your joy, peace and best self. The answers aren’t “out there” but within. We all have luggage but to what purpose does the content serve? Sometimes it’s precious and worthwhile to carry. Repack that luggage with valuable contents!! Decided what to pack is always daunting I at 1st. You got this….by land or by “water”. 🤗🙏💕

    1. It’s funny…. many years ago when we traveled out west I met Tom, a very wise old soul who took one look at me and asked, “Why are you carrying those rocks?” And being young and niave I had no idea what he meant. He told me the rocks made me unbalanced and to “drop my rocks.” I really didn’t get it then, but now…. I’m learning to drop my rocks. I’m finding the balance.

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