Ecclesiastes says “There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens”
The calendar says summer, but I am having a hard time escaping from the late autumn chill in my heart. Still, this summer has brought pockets of warmth and golden joy. Like the seasons, life sort of goes in cycles, circles that don’t always close. Sometimes the circles overlap making mysterious patterns, rings like glasses put down on coffee tables with no coaster. Lots of overlapping rings and patterns.
Music is sort of like the seasons. Since before I can remember, I’ve listened to Mary Chapin Carpenter. My relationship with her is older than my marriage, predates my children and has carried me through the many seasons of my life. A few weeks ago, my kids and Scott and I got to go see Mary Chapin Carpenter. We spread out blankets and chairs in the park beside the sea. We shared a picnic supper. While the stars appeared in a twilight sky, we waited and then there was Mary. She began to play “This Shirt.” Sam eagerly recognized the tune before the words began. The kids knew most of the songs and I knew them all… These are the songs that comforted me when I longed so desperately for the life I have now. Being there in the park under a summer moon with the music and movement of the water all around us… I felt one of the circles closing. Other circles will overlap.
Moira, Maggie, Sam and I go through baskets of photos as we clean out. Pictures have stories and each carries a memory, a character from an earlier plot line. Part of the story began before they born, but they’ve heard the tale over and over. In this season of chaos and loss I’m feeling weepy and shattered. I feel lost. And then comes someone who has always known how to find me. More circles. More seasons… there will be more.